Dear baby,

Mum found out she’s pregnant today – and funny how it happened. Around 2:00 this morning, I was having my last smoke for the day by the condo’s window when I subconsciously stroked my tummy. It kinda felt bloated. Because my period was already delayed for more than a week, an idea popped in my head… I could be pregnant!

Your dad and I was about to watch a flick on the telly then, but I asked him to go out and buy the cheapest home kit pregnancy test from a nearby 24-hour pharmacy. He disliked the idea (he was just feeling lazy!), and told me it could wait until the next day. I begged him and said I won’t be able to sleep until I found out.

And so he went. When he got back, I opened the box and placed the contents beside our bed (a single mattress on the floor), I didn’t feel like peeing yet. We started watching the movie (I can’t remember which). Thirty minutes into it, I suddenly felt going to the bathroom so I brought the test with me. I’m familiar with the brand and knew that it can come up with the result in less than a minute.

I held my breath. Within 40 seconds, I saw the two strips, indicating a positive result. I was terrified! Mum and dad’s initial plan was to have a baby two years after the wedding. Not that soon.

The scary result.
I walked out of the bathroom and told him in a flat tone, “It’s positive”. He nodded to express ‘I hear ya’ and said, “We’ll go to the doctor tomorrow” . We continued watching the movie, but obviously our minds were someplace else. I tried to remember my last menstrual cycle, and recounted the days until my fertile period. Mum is certain that you’re made in China. Beijing, to be exact.

When the movie ended, though both distressed, we tried to get some sleep so we could wake up early for a visit to the OB clinic.

We roused at noon. Gabe, your soon-to-be aunt, was wondering why we were awake so early. We didn’t tell her what we were up to since we wanted to wait for the doctor’s findings before making an announcement.

Philippine General Hospital (PGH) is just a 20-minute FX/jeep ride away from our place. But instead of going there to look for an OB, we scanned the row of laboratories/clinics just across it and found United Diagnostic Laboratory. We anxiously waited at the receiving area for my turn. After 15 minutes, a nurse escorted us to the second floor.

I met the OB privately, dad stayed at the hall. Her name is Dra. Manbee Granada, and we call her Manbee the OB. Cute, ei? Anyway, the ultrasound showed a small black hallow hole which could be you, but no heartbeat was detected yet. She said if my guess is right, that you were conceived mid-December, then it means you’re only about 4 weeks old.

That’s you baby at 4 weeks! Sorry for the crappy photo, there’s nothing much to see anyway.
She advised me to come back after a couple of weeks for a follow up ultrasound. By then you should already have a heartbeat and should be more visible.

I stepped out of her cubicle and showed the ultrasound to your dad. We were still tangled up in mixed emotions then: Confused, nervous, frustrated, upset… But we also felt a tinge of excitement when we saw the report!

Dad doesn’t have a stable job right now and mum’s unemployed. We cannot fly to Australia (where your dad grew up) yet because one of the requirements for mum’s spouse visa is an x-ray check up – which I cannot undergo now because of the pregnancy. We’d have to reschedule that after you’re born.

We don’t have much money as of the moment, but we sure do have more than most people living in poverty. As long as your dad and I are together, we’re confident that everything’s gonna be alright.

See you again in two weeks, baby.